Getting Real

WARNING: This is a personal blog, although you might see yourself in it.

I am addicted. Any qualifier that follows this statement is simply that. What matters is the admission about being addicted.

Not alcohol or drugs or shopping or sex – but wheat, I am addicted to wheat. I have been struggling with this addiction for most of my adult life. Different from alcohol or drugs, wheat is not frowned upon by others, it does not get the attention or criticism of others, and I can totally indulge in this addiction with a big smile on my face while sitting in a restaurant eating all sorts of wheat products.

Although I can hide in plain sight, the addiction is still very real and its impact on my body is more than real. In the world of nutrition and chiropractic the decision to not give up something that causes pain is referred to as N.E.P. Not enough pain. In other words, the food (cause) is not causing enough pain to decide to stop.

So, here is what is about to happen. My chiropractor is encouraging me to give up wheat for at least six months. SIX MONTHS. Oh my! If you could hear my inner dialog right now, it would be filled with expletives.

I am saying yes to this challenge, oops, I mean encouragement. Although it feels more like a double dare. I have given up wheat many times. I have tried and tried and failed and failed. But here I am, choosing to take on this challenge, I am choosing to believe in myself, I am choosing to do this mindfully, consciously, and I am aware of that voice in my head that is terrified. Why am I listening to that voice, because to deny it, is simply unwise.

Here is what I know at this point about me and wheat. Wheat represents my childhood, my mother’s love, and care, and it is the main ingredient in all my favorite foods, my comfort foods, my I’m stressed life is hard food. I light up at the thought of it, the smell of it, and most certainly at the site of it. I am about to take on my life in a conscious way and I am doing this publicly, so I do not have any wiggle room. (There is actual brain science behind these reactions.)

My health and physical comfort depend upon my success here. I am scared, but I am doing it anyway. I choose loving self-care. I choose to love myself enough to say no at all the right times while saying yes to relief, ease, and health.

Where have you not chosen YOU in your life? Where have you slipped and hoped no one noticed? Maybe you would like to take on something that matters to you. Here I go, wish me luck.