My Shero

True Story – Fake Names

I was gifted with an opportunity to facilitate a retreat for almost thirty people. The goal – to awaken the soul that has been stamped down and quieted and forgiveness was the path we would walk upon together to get there.

It was a powerfully safe and affective retreat in moving the group close to the goal of remembering who they were. I witnessed people waking up to aspects of themselves that were hidden behind pain, memories, emotional trauma due to all sorts of horrific life events. Their survival of these aspects led to adopting survival behaviors that became their personality traits because the symptoms went unchecked and unhealed for way too long.

We all do this. We become who we are to survive who we are – a paradox of sorts. Our mind and our ego work together creating ways to rise above pain, fear, and memories, but often the outer expression while working becomes an aspect or shadow of ourselves that we are not happy with. In other words, we walk around functioning on top of dysfunction, but, because it is masked, it seems normal and workable. But this survival from what was will never leave us being authentic and transparent.

These beloved retreat participants looked deeply inward for two days as we investigated tools and skills that would have us rise up out of this spiral of humanity. It was stunning. They were beautiful and brave and so authentic. I was inspired by their courage. Lives were changed forever. Yes, there was more to do but they had a new point of reference as many of them remembered who they were. To be a witness to these people was a gift. There were many brave souls to be celebrated.

There was one person, one woman, who became my shero. To keep confidential, I must not share any of the specific details except what is necessary. Let’s call her Shirley. This beautiful, intelligent, and lovely individual has been beating herself up for many years because she blamed herself for breaking up her family. When I inquired about how she did that, she shared this: she blew the whistle on abuse in her family. The details about the breakup are not important here. This is what is important. Shirley is a shero, she is my shero because she had the courage to do what I did not do in my abusive family. She had the courage to tell the truth and withstand the fallout.

Abuse continues because those who have been victimized feel they are to blame, and secrets stay hidden because they feel at fault and shame themselves. Help me celebrate this, Shero. Ask yourself, are you staying silent to protect the false narrative of the family institution. Let us be stronger because of Shirley. Let her strength, be your strength. Let’s stop being silent, our world depends upon us.