Loving the Shadow
You are a beautiful confluence of light and dark. You have contained within you the evidence of all creation. The vast inner landscape that defines you holds mountains and caverns; providing opportunities to climb the emotional heights of ecstasy and success, and the invitation to dive into deepest the wells of understanding, self-love, and a profound relationship to God.
The conversation around the ego and our shadow has matured over time. The habitual tendency to blame one’s life on our parents has given way to the understanding and practice of self-responsibility. The dismal understanding of shadow, how dark it is, how scary, and using it as a scapegoat as the reason for pain and suffering, is now transformed into a simpler conversation around cause and effect.
We can be hopeful because society and our understanding about our emotions and our shadow has matured over time. Brené Brown, and all her research, is just one of the reasons why our collective understanding has risen. Debbie Ford brought conversations around the shadow to the forefront and we are instructed to look fearlessly into the deep void that lives at the heart of each of us.
As we mature, we are given the opportunity to begin to look at our shadow, and the apparent shadow of others, which normally demonstrates itself in the form of unkind reactions and unskilled behavior. But as we heal and mature, while the shadow continues to exist, bringing love, empathy, and compassion into the formula changes how we dissect our shadows, and we can begin to realize that if it is alive in us, it is for a reason, a good reason. Our mature self realizes that our projected behavior is created to help us survive unsavory life circumstances. If it exists in us, it must be for us.
Looking into our shadow from the mindset that it exists for us, on our behalf, calls forth an alternate way of looking and seeing that which is contained within. From this matured, loving point of view, we can cease judging ourselves and others and ask revealing questions. The simplest series of inquiry will begin with: how is this for me? What do I need to know about myself? What gift is hidden at the center of this reaction? How can I translate this shadow to draw forth the truth that transforms me? Now let us be honest, the hesitation to react skillfully that sits between the confronting behavior (yours or another) and the calm needed to ask these questions calls for us to skilled. But, given the focus, the time, the practice, and the sincere curiosity to know your inner landscape will get you there.
The love of curiosity, of knowing oneself, and to understand the individuals in your intimate circle, will leave you in a glorious mindset that says, my shadow is for me. Love your shadow exuberantly. This is the journey of selfhood that can lead to compassion for all of humanity.
