The Loss of Santa
It must have left a greater impact than I consciously remember. Finding out that the big bellied man in the bright red hat and suit was not who and what I believed he was. I have vivid memories of my sister lifting me out of my crib to peer through our parent’s bedroom window to look for Santa and his sleigh. Out of all the things that I don’t remember from my youth, this memory lives in the cells of my body in the sweetest way.
But the fall from the grace of this charade informed how I would influence my children and what I would tell them about Christmas and Santa. The question to ask is, is it harmful? And truthfully, in speaking to many individuals on this subject, I have to conclude that for most the emotional impact was minimal at best. And, there are good cultural reasons to keep this illusion alive. It offers us traditions that get handed down and a shared experience with memories and stories. I suspect that the adults enjoy the illusion even more than the children.
There is value for children to use their imagination and it helps them build their cognitive thinking skills. Imagination is important for many reasons, children and adults alike.
BUT, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to what I considered was lying to my children, but I also didn’t want to deny them the fun and joy of the illusion of a man coming down the chimney. Here’s how I handled it, I told my sons that Santa represented the spirit of giving – yep that felt right, and it was sustainable.
Then along came my grandchildren and the narrative was no longer in my hands, I would honor my son and daughter-in-love’s choices. They chose SANTA, Santa in all his glory, you know, the whole letter writing, sitting on his lap, and sneaking the presents under the tree on Christmas eve. Now, for full transparency, we did all that but justified it by always saying that Santa represents the spirit of giving. Now, three sons and three grandchildren later, I watch as my granddaughter, Lila, is experiencing her fall from grace. Now every time she speaks about Santa, she does so with air quotes, she’s nine and thinks she’s so savvy – it’s adorable. She now looks and sounds a bit disillusioned and, apparently, she decided that she needed to tell her brother the truth. Denial is a powerful thing though, because he is holding on to the fable with his last breath, as did his father. My son Keith did not want to let go of his idea and imagination about Santa. This was okay with me because at least I wasn’t lying to them.
No matter what you believe, I hope for you that this Holy Season brings you magic beyond your wildest dreams.
Stay conscious my friends, the world needs us to wake up and stay conscious.
Photo credit: Cottonbro Studio
