Never - Ever Sell Out
I must confess for most of my adult life and that of my youth I have sold out my independence and my self-love for the attention and approval of others. It is an addiction I wish I could have given up a long time ago. This addiction has caused me great pain by selling out my independence and causing me to make decisions and have behaviors that I would not want to admit aloud.
I have sold out, not my soul, but my own self-esteem and self-approval and self-love for the recognition, the approval, and the love of others. I have done this for decades. It has taken me decades to heal from not being enough for myself. The interesting thing is once that addiction is kicked it is hard to believe I ever participated in it. Often, we sell out, looking for a relationship, a profession, or a situation where the outside world tells us who we are. I know that just saying this to you will not necessarily make it happen but maybe this moment, this blog, this reminder can be the one that tips the scales in your favor, so you remember who you are, and how valuable you are. Maybe enough can finally be enough!
When we live through the eyes of another we are in total denial of the self. Your unique essence and the elements of you that make you, you cannot be replicated and should not be denied or sacrificed for anyone at any time. I listen to a lot of adults questioning the behavior and to some degree the cockiness of some of the young adults that they see in the world. I believe that somehow the current generation of the 20- to 30-year-olds have a handle on something that past generations have missed. We missed valuing ourselves, but they have somehow found a way through the lies and temptation to give their power away to value their own opinions and self-worth. In truth, it is a beautiful thing.
How do you know if you are doing this? Pay close attention to your wants and desires. Do you often or even on occasion sell out what you want to do to make your partner happy? Are you working a job only for the paycheck? Are you sacrificing your dreams for others? Are you playing small? All of these behaviors are ways in which we sell out and do not allow ourselves to experience the fullest expression of who we are.
At birth you were ordained to be brilliant, bold, fully express, never to live a life of mediocrity. Mediocrity is the result of selling out. Brilliance is what happens when we embrace our uniqueness. Please, question everything. In questioning everything you will find who you are. You will retrieve your dreams and you will remember that living an extraordinary life is the result of living an authentic life.
