Naked Truth by Michelle Wadleigh

(DISCLAIMER A very personal and possibly disturbing blog.)

I just arrived home from seeing a movie with my good friend. The movie? It Ends with Us. I read the book first, as recommended to me, and then waited to go see the movie with someone who knows me well and could be present for me.

SPOILER ALERT! DON’T READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE.

This is a down and dirty synopsis for the movie. A girl grows up witnessing her father abuse her mother. As a young woman she falls in love with a man that takes her breath away. This love is intoxicating until there were a series of ‘accidents’ that left her bruised and questioning life. A child is born to this couple which forces a major decision. Gratefully, the woman says to her newborn daughter, it ends with us, it stops here, and decides to divorce her husband.

This is my naked truth, a phrase that comes into play within this script of the movie.

I was one of those women. I was someone who didn’t leave when leaving was the thing to do. I was actually one of those women who not only didn’t leave but went back to the man who did not deserve my devotion. I have lived with this shame and guilt for twenty-seven years. Yes, I know I am the forgiveness and shadow queen and, yes of course, I have taken care of a lot of it, but reading this book and watching this movie has shaken loose the last tidbits of toxic energy that was left attached at a cellular level.

My children needed more from me, but I did not deliver – at the time. I modeled cowardness when they needed strength.  Now, I am grateful for my journey because I am not who I was, and my strength is intact and my self-love and direction are strong and focused. I can offer a path because I lived it, I walked it, I walked straight out of it to FREEDOM and SELF-LOVE.

I so admire the main female character of this movie and her strength to rise up out of her pain to care for her daughter by leaving her husband. I didn’t do that. (To be clear, it was not my husband.) My self-esteem was so low, barely existent and so I delayed the inevitable. It wasn’t until I raised my consciousness, self-awareness, and self-esteem and acceptance that I was able to turn the table, to decide I’m done, we’re done, this relationship is done. It was one of the most empowering decisions and moments of my life.

Have you ever wondered, why my life focus is forgiveness and shadow work, well now you know, although this story is just one of many that sent me in the direction of healing emotionally. I’m here to teach and lend a hand to anyone who wants out, to anyone stuck in any kind of pattern of self-destruction through the abuse of another.

I am not at the mercy of what was, and neither are you. I am more than what happened to me and so are you. I am potent, powerful, and free to find a new way of being and I have, and so can YOU. Love yourself enough to do the work. The rewards are enormous.

Photo credit: Andrea Piacquadio