Moral Compass

We don’t talk about having morals anymore. Even the term feels old-fashioned. That might be so, but we are not talking about preachers speaking about sin and condemnation, we are speaking about making decisions that we can live with.

A friend recently shared a story about something that happened to her sister-in-law who was attacked and beaten in her own home by some thugs that wanted to steal her car. One woman versus a few thugs – what? Why? Okay, steal the damn car but why beat this woman who was not putting up a fight?

Now, that is a rabbit hole to investigate in so many ways, but here is what to focus on. These boys, all under the age of 17 cannot be charged as adults and there is good reason for this. They are not spiritually mature enough to stand up to negative influences. In some ways, they are at the mercy of their surroundings. They are a target for stronger and not so moral influences. Clearly compensation will always be visited upon them in ways beyond legal but where is their moral compass.

Even without their names being released, even if they are not thrown in jail, even if they are not made to pay for the violence, they – each of them – must live with their decision. The unfortunate fact about youth is they are not in touch with the long-term impact of stupid. Stupid, immoral decisions have a long-standing impact. They can’t see it from the point of view of where they stand, they don’t have the experience to measure their actions, and their emotional intelligence is not in a place to see how someone suckered them into this act all for criminal reasons.

Here is the truth. While I have never harmed another in this way, or even close, I have made some really bad and immoral decisions. There were numerous opportunities in my life where something sounded like a good idea and I never stopped to question the moral implications of going along. These young men are going to have to live with their choices and their pain will be delayed. Unfortunately, they will realize way too late. Thank God for Forgiveness. My unconscious and immoral actions did not physically harm anyone, but as I look back, I see how I made some stupid, illegal, and immoral decisions without understanding their impact, I couldn’t see the harm or the reality that I was about to break a law.

If I believe – and I do, and if I teach, as I do – that all actions are forgivable, am I not obligated to look at these boys compassionately. Should I not look at my younger self compassionately? I feel very lucky that mine was a swiftly passing phase. My morals are intact now, but what about the rest of our youth walking the streets, joining gangs, engaging in raucous behavior? How can we help to save them from themselves?

Stay close to your teens! Watch them through loving eyes, talk to them, listen to them, listen so they talk to you, don’t dismiss their confusion, be there when they are confused, and talk to them about your mistakes, your errors, and the pain of those mistakes. Talk to them heart to heart, not adult to child. See their wholeness every time you look at them and remind them who they are, the offspring of the divine.